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Are there men who will seek out a younger woman given the opportunity? Is it a reality that by the time a woman reaches 65 her gender outnumbers single men 2 to 1? So are those the biggest factors that contribute to women over 40 having a hard time finding a match. In my 10+ years as an online dating coach it’s become clear that the reasons why older women fail at online dating can be broken down into 4 major factors: mindset, lifestyle, chivalry, and algorithms.I often hear clients say, “There are no good men in ______.” (Insert whichever city, the problem is the same.) The client believes that since they haven’t been able to find good men or they aren’t approached by as many men as they were in their 20s or 30s that it means that the well of good men in their town has totally dried up. Only he doesn't want to change his life or schedule one iota for her. A conversation with them might go something like, You: "So, how do you like your job? He apologizes and says he will call you that night. A week later, he emails again, saying, "Hey, want to meet up? Finally my friend asked how old his daughter was, and the guy replied, "20"! Not that there's anything wrong with a single dad, but this guy is REALLY with kids. because he has to have dinner with his kids every night ...The image of men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s chasing after women half their age has driven many woman over 40 into my office.
By the time you get into your 40s, if you have the misfortune to find yourself in the dating pool, let me just tell you: It's a shit show. If they were any good, they would be in relationships or married already. This is the 40-something guy who has totally adjusted to living alone.
It's like being thrown in a serial killer's basement well. Let's face it, there is some truth to the statement "All the good ones are taken." That goes triple for guys in their 40s. This is the guy who will say something early on like, "I have tennis on Wednesday, squash on Thursday, I'm camping all weekend, I need to spend Monday and Tuesday wriitng my novel, I walk my dog from 7 p.m.
That's what he tell you -- and he probably believes it. He's the guy who says he will call you Monday night and then doesn't. He uses his kids as an excuse not to get into a relationship.
This is the 40-something man-child who still doesn't know how to make plans in advance and can't stick to any type of schedule. In fact, his online dating profile photo is likely to be ... not even considering that you might like to meet earlier because you work in the morning.
You can really only get away with this if you're George Clooney. You can tell them right off the bat though, because even on the first phone call they'll nastily correct you about weird stuff or start an argument about the most innocuous of topics. I thought we were trying to get to know each other personally. " You explain that he never called, so why is he asking? He had to do this for his daughter, that for his daughter.
Trust me, if he's gotten to 40 without having ever been married (for more than a few days) or in a relationship over 5 years, he is never going to be in one. But there is no way that a guy goes decades of dating without finding one woman worth sticking with for a decent length of time unless he just doesn't want to. I don't know if it's that guys this age have seen a lot of relationship disappointment that has made them bitter and angry, or if their bitter/angry vibe is what makes women run from them to the point where they are still single at 40, but these guys abound. A week later, he emails you, "Hey, what are you up to? True story: One friend was dating this guy who kept using kid excuses not to see her.