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"You're looking for a connection, someone you're physically attracted to -- who's physically attracted to you -- plus someone who doesn't make you feel bored from the get-go," Schwartz tells Web MD. "But don't let the love bug mesmerize you," says Paul Falzone, author of the book, Find the Right One and CEO of "The Right One"and "Together," two nationwide dating services.
The topic is dating, and the custom is as old as Adam and Eve. Two love experts offer their dating advice: Face it; finding a great mate takes some research.
"Especially when children are involved, you want to make sure you're doing the right thing." In fact, he advises hiring a private investigator when getting involved with someone new. Then after they're snookered, they feel so silly, so embarrassed about what happened." His dating advice: "You can't change the spots on a leopard." A date isn't a therapy session; don't ramble about lost loves or your personal problems too much, Falzone says.
At the beginning, your dates don't need to know about your insecurities, your dead-end job, your failed relationships, he says.
If you look back fondly on a past relationship, the message comes across that you're not over it -- causing your new romantic interest to feel threatened, jealous, or insecure, says Falzone.
Showing bitterness over a breakup can make your date wonder if you badmouth all former flames. I know a 50-year-old woman who thought she wanted an intellectual. When people say they're cynical, jaded, they're really scared of having to change a little bit." Here's the really serious stuff -- a woman is vulnerable to rape in her own home, or even if she voluntarily goes to someone else's home.
Sure, you need to bring up past relationships at some point. Sure, dating can be frustrating, even disillusioning. If you're feeling negative, you'll scare off the good ones. If you have a 50-item list of criteria, if you're too specific about what you want, too rigid, you're going to find yourself alone forever." Her dating advice: Look beyond the bald head and other imperfections. Even if she consents to some activity, that does not imply consent for all sexual activity. Even if alcohol or drugs are involved, even if she doesn't put up a fight -- even if she's a former girlfriend -- it's rape if she says, "No." You can't be too careful; date-rape drugs such as GHB, Rohypnol, or Ketamine can render a victim unconscious and with limited memory.